The cleaning guy in my office does not like my merman.  I know this because I usually keep it poised on my bookshelf like this.

 

But every couple of days or so, I’ll come in to work and it will look like this.

 

I shouldn’t jump to conclusions, I suppose.  But the obvious explanation is that my merman’s lopsided little boobies make the custodian uncomfortable.  So uncomfortable, in fact, that the merman isn’t allowed to watch while he empties my trash.

I’m a bit annoyed by it.  Not because someone is passing judgment on my sense of aesthetic.  Or even because I am a Virgo and I have an irrational attachment to my stuff, in particular the stuff that someone insists on dicking with.  But because if the guy is going to go out of his way to redecorate my cube, would it be so hard to dust while he’s up there?  I mean, c’mon.

I think I have developed a plan of attack.  I am going to find a thin tipped sharpie and give my merman a butt crack with ample cleavage.  And maybe some bum dimples.  Maybe that little surprise will startle the cleaning guy to just leave him facing forward next time.

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